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July 19, 2006

Press 1 to kill a telco

I came across this recipe in the bottom of a drawer...

Bittersweet mashed telco business model compote -- Serves 6 billion

Ingredients:

  1. Legacy telco 800 number business.
  2. Parasitical Internet payment subsidiary.
  3. Large e-commerce hub.
  4. Merchant base looking to increase revenues.
  5. Rapidly growing private voice network.

Directions:

  • Create new intermediary 800 number, 1-800-VIA-EBAY.
  • Create namespace for extensions, e.g. "PLUMBER" is 7586347 on your phone keypad.
  • Get users to register their phone numbers; send SMS or callback to verify and enter activation code.
  • Get users to register bank and credit card payment details with your payment subsidiary.
  • Ask users to fill in profile details such as demographics, address, etc.
  • Encourage users to set up a PIN.
  • Incentivise advertisers to use your 800 number system.
  • Simply forward calls from unknown/anonymous callers straight to the merchant at no charge.
  • Mediate calls from known numbers. Offer a "merchant edition" call receiving suite. Make exchange of profile data and transactions instant, anonymous and secure. Request user PIN where appropriate.
  • Charge merchants for higher close-out rate, better personalisation of product targeting, transaction fees etc.
  • Use PC telephony subsidiary to enable higher-quality multi-modal alternative access mechanism.

Scoop out telco revenue, place in serving dishes, share among yourselves.

Posted by Martin Geddes at 10:32 AM
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