Telepocalypse

Labas!

Vilnius airport Wi-Fi experience

1. Pay Lithuanian Airlines about 200 quid for economy ticket.
2. Sit in uncrowded area near power socket.

3. Fire up laptop.

4. Select "Zebra" free network.

5. Surf happily.

Heathrow airport Wi-Fi experience

1. Pay British Airways about 4400 quid for business class ticket.
2. Sit in crowded lounge with insufficient power outlets.

3. Fire up laptop.

4. Select BT Openzone.

5. Fish out wallet from bottom of laptop bag where left from security screen.

6. Recount life history -- name, address, email, email again, favourite colour.

7. Copy and paste access code into Outlook note in case of problems.

8. Log on.

9. Surf briefly.

10. Drop network.

11. Re-open Outlook.

12. Re-authenticate.

13. Surf briefly.

14. Drop network.

15. Try to re-authenticate. Credentials refused. (Cut'n'pasted -- no typos)

16. Try again to authenticate. Credentials refused.

17. Call BT Openzone helpline from mobile at 35p/min.

18. Spell out user ID to agent.

19. Credentials now accepted.

20. Surf.

21. File away emails with account code and receipt.

22. To-do note to print receipt.

23. Print and file receipt when returned home.

24. Submit expense claim.

Ultimate in people transport, crap for data transport.

Is this really the brand experience BT wants to project on the world's business travellers? Was it really worth ten pounds to them? Or could they have used the splash page to promote goodwill to BT with some free access and an advert for BT business services?

And I've got a great money spinner for BA to try: coin entry toilets on planes. You'll make a fortune! Go on, I dare you...

(Have you ever had the feeling of different profit centres colliding somewhere in the heart of the customer experience?)

Posted by Martin Geddes at 10:02 AM

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